I'm not an optimistic person, let alone motivated. But I'm good at trying. Trying to be optimistic, trying to be better than I was yesterday, trying my best to give back. Everyday, I'm all about self-improvement. I'm not a professional life trainer but I think it would nice to share some of the habits I developed since late last year that definitely changed my life!

1.  Waking up at 5:00am

For someone who used to sleep at 3:00 in the morning, subsequently waking up at 10:00 the next day, I couldn't believe I became a morning person. And waking up early constantly has been life-changing for me. All those tweets about waking up at 5:00am exist for a reason because it actually worked. And this is coming from someone who used to hate waking up before the Sun is peeking through the window. 

It's okay if you refuse to wake up early, but to dismiss it quickly is just ignorant. If you wake up early and did nothing but remained sprawled on your bed, of course it's not going to change your life. The amazing thing about waking up is, it's so peaceful and quiet (and not in an eerie way). Before 9:00am, you could have performed Tahajjud, read the Quran, watched Tik Tok, went out for a run, had breakfast, showered and caught up with Booktube videos. And by 9:00am, you can sit on your work desk and start doing your work for the day. Just imagine the amount of hours stretched ahead! There are so many work you can finish while simultaneously living as a good Muslim and healthy person.

2. Exercise

Since my 8:00am to 7:00pm schedule is impossible for me to exercise everyday, I tried to commit at least once a week. So, on my Saturday morning I will jog and on Sunday morning, I will skip and do some simple workout. I just started working out and it's so painful I'm actually considering to quit but my self-narcissism won't allow. The thought of how my body would turn out overpowers the pain.

I've been running once a week routinely for the past 4-5 months and it worked wonders! Of course the effect is not going to immediately take place, but over time, I realised my mood is improving, my head is clearer and I'm more functional. Running hurts too but at least I welcome the pain.

3. Social Media Detox

I remember about 4-5 years ago, I would spend hours on Twitter, scrolling and chasing quick Dopamine, gained a few laughs and then left bereft being away from it. I would scroll through Instagram to consume Timothee Chalamet edits until 4:00am. And being introduced to TikTok definitely made my habit worse.

But thankfully, I had my wake up call. Nowadays, I disciplined myself to 30 minutes of TikTok only on weekends and 15-20 minutes of Twitter/Instagram per day. I have to admit, not being able to watch TikTok daily is tormenting (because most of my online crushes are from TikTok) but I did what I had to do for a better mental state. 

So far, I still feel terrible and life isn't much better but at least I have more time for reading books or watch comforting movies which consequently gives me a boost of Dopamine (which kinda beats the purpose of social media detox). 

Anyway, I'm still looking for new habits and coping mechanism to cure my chronic loneliness. If you have anything in mind, don't forget to share in the comment section! You might save a life. 

Talbis Iblis merupakan filem yang mencetuskan kontroversi apabila ia telah diharamkan untuk ditayang di Brunei. Sungguhpun begitu, di tanah air, filem ini telah berjaya memenangi hati lokal apabila berjaya mengutip RM4 juta setelah tiga minggu tayangan. 

Sinopsis

Cerita ini bermula dengan adegan pada tahun 1990 yang menampakkan Junaidah yang sedang sarat mengandung, dipukul oleh bapanya dan ditolak jatuh ke tangga. Ahli keluarga Junaidah yang lain sekadar berdiri di tepi dan tidak cuba untuk menyelamatkan Ju. 

Sudahnya, Ju dan teman lelakinya, Nasir terpaksa menanam bayi yang sudah meninggal di kawasan rumah. Ju yang tidak sanggup melihat mayat anaknya diturunkan ke liang lahad, merampas jasad itu daripada Nasir. Melihatkan Ju yang berkeras kepala, Nasir menawarkan untuk membawa Ju berjumpa seorang bomoh.

30 tahun kemudian, Ju menyediakan perkhidmatan membuang bayi secara tradisional di rumah agamnya. Arshad dan Hajar yang sudah terlanjur, mengambil keputusan untuk menyingkirkan kandungan bayi di dalam perut Hajar yang sedang sarat mengandung. Dikelilingi kawasan hutan dan salakan anjing pada malam hari, Hajar berasa tidak sedap hati dengan tempat tersebut. Apakah misteri di sebalik pokok besar di belakang rumah agam itu? Siapakah Mak Ju yang sebenar?

Ulasan

Sebelum saya memulakan ulasan, adalah lebih baik jika saya memberi amaran. Bagi saya filem ini tak sesuai buat para ibu mengandung atau sesiapa yang lemah semangat. Adegan yang dipaparkan agak explicit dan tak disorok-sorok. 

Pada mulanya, saya tertanya, apakah maksud Talbis? Oleh sebab kali terakhir saya ambil mata pelajaran Bahasa Arab adalah pada darjah 6, saya tak tahu 'talbis' itu berasal dari perkataan Arab yang membawa maksud penipuan. Jadi, Talbis Iblis bermaksud Penipuan Iblis. Kalau saya tahu maksud tajuk filem ini terlebih dahulu, mungkin saya akan kurang terkejut dengan apa yang berlaku pada hujung filem. 

Kalau ikut lakonan, semuanya best sebab tengok barisan pelakon pun tahu. Kita ada Azira Shafinaz, Nasha Aziz dan Zul Ariffin. 

Dari segi plot, pada awalnya agak slow. Rungkaian apa yang pernah terjadi pada Junaidah dan apa motif Junaidah menyimpan bayi Hajar dibuat secara gradual. 

Filem yang berlangsung selama sejam setengah ini lebih banyak memainkan unsur jumpscare dan efek bunyi menyeramkan. Jurukamera juga memainkan peranan penting dalam menambahkan efek seram. 

Dari segi jalan cerita, bagi saya amat menarik sebab berjaya menimbulkan persoalan-persoalan yang buat saya kekal tonton hingga ke penghujung. 

Buat peminat cerita seram, mungkin filem ini kurang sesuai kerana jumpscare yang digunakan tidak sesuai. Hantu yang membuat kemunculan juga tidak nampak begitu menyeramkan. Tetapi untuk beginner atau sesiapa yang jarang kali menonton filem genre horror, bagi saya filem ini cukup memuaskan. 

Rating: ★★★★

I only managed to read 26 books this year and I DNF-ed around 3-4 books. I hate it when I had to DNF a book, especially the ones I highly anticipated. But I'm not going to be the reader who sticks with a book just because I already started it. Normally after about 100 pages mark, if the book didn't excite me, or the characters are so annoying (which is usually the case) or the writing style is too dull for me (this excuse is still forgivable), I will just close the book and be done with it. I'm not going to waste my time on something mid when there are so many potentially amazing books that may blow my mind. 

So, here are some of the books I felt most disappointed in. Simply because I read raved reviews about them but didn't land quite right for me. Some of the books I DNF-ed, which is a teeny bit unfair for me to judge it as a whole since the books may get better. But nevertheless, here are the books that have let me down. 

1. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

If you don't know what this book is about, The Midnight Library is basically about this one character who committed suicide then woke up to find herself in the library, the place in between life and death. In the library, the books on the shelves were her life stories where she can pick a timepoint in her life and start over. The question is, will the circumstance change if her decision was different? Who knows. I didn't finish the book.

The author himself is suffering from depression. So, I was expecting this book to be dark and soul-crushing. I thought I could resonate with the main character. But all I get was fortune cookies worth kind of advice. I could read something from Milk and Honey and that would sound more interesting than the pieces of advice given in the book (which is very low). I tried to read it up to 50 pages (I think, I didn't even bother to remember), but it wasn't right for me.

I heard SO many good reviews about this book, so maybe I'm the problem. If this book has helped you in any kind of way, good for you. But it made me even more depressed.

2. Take A Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

This one was so... animalistic. I was so upset to DNF this because I LOVE Get A Life, Chloe Brown. This book is the second installment in the Brown Sisters series. I love the first one so much it made my bitter and soulless heart LITERALLY GIGGLED SQUIRMING PUNCHING THE AIR because Chloe and Red WERE ADORABLE AS HECK. 

But this one was just too sexual for me. Dani and Zafir WERE SO INFATUATED WITH EACH OTHER I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM BECAUSE IT'S DISGUSTING. 

Besides, Zafir is a Muslim, albeit a non-practicing one. As a Muslim myself, it was uncomfortable and awkward for me to know his explicit thoughts towards Dani so relentlessly. He touched and made out with her like it was nothing, which was probably the case for him since he didn't practice Islam, but I couldn't get through it. It was yuck.

Also, I guess it was my fault to get my hopes high when I knew too well I hate fake dating trope. I couldn't see the point why Dani and Zafir would constantly downgrade each other when they had all those lust in between their legs. They were insufferable.

3. Majnun by Zul Azlin

When I look at this book, I see this golden child who had so much potential to be something big, profound and remarkable. But instead all I got was disappointment. 

I couldn't forgive myself for getting excited to read this. The blurb sounds so cool and badass. But once I dived in... boy was I disappointed. There are so many aspects on why I despise this book so much, but let's start with the characters. 

All the time I wanted to throw up trying to read what the characters were thinking inside their heads. I would rather walk on wet grass barefoot (you should know I HATE WET GRASS SO MUCH) than reading about those idiots. They were the most immature and stupid adults I've ever read. And to think they were depicted as professionals? Abominable.

The storyline had potential, but it wasn't executed properly. A lot of things could've been developed to make the plot more sensible. 

4. Jika Aku by Anna Lee

I knew I shouldn't depend on this book to satisfy my hopeless romantic dreams because this isn't a cute love story. I mean, going into this one, I knew it was described as action-romance but the fact that I didn't get both is my villain origin story. 

This book started with this mind-reader annoying stuck up b**** in the train stealing glances at this gorgeous hottie. I was like, yes gurl, same. We all do, right? But then, she and I were suddenly not the same anymore when she started to be delusional. She strongly believed that hottie was a murderer because she heard his thoughts wondering where to hide a body. And to know the real reason and intention of that hottie having those thoughts... made this book a lost cause.

You should read my full review on this book because I'm about to throw up just thinking about it. 

5. Introvert by Abstrakim

When I came across this book on Twitter for the first time, I thought, well who decided to write a book about me? And so, being the most desperate and hopeful to find a common voice, I bought this straight from the FIXI book shop all the way at Sunway Pyramid. 

One might ask, is it worth it? All the commuting from UM to Sunway Pyramid? Is this book worth my precious time? The answer is HELL NO. This book had ONE CHANCE to save me but IT DID NOT. 

I have never read something so childish as this. I heard a lot of praises for Abstrakim because he's apparently a famous writer. So, I was expecting something beautiful, punching me to the gut, lyrical writing style. But it was extremely dry. 

The whole plot was structured by a middle school kid who's trying so hard to impress his examiner in his Bahasa Melayu exam. There was twist after twist but the basis was nowhere to be found. 

I could not believe a single thought by Farady who was supposed to be this suicidal kid one second, and then all of a sudden after meeting this new hot chick, life was bearable again. That is such a thing man would do, acting shallow. 

All of the books mentioned are not bad books per se, they just aren't for me. I'm a goddamn picky reader because my soul is full of pessimism. So, do not take anything I say to the heart. I was just venting out my thoughts because no one else would listen (because I have no friends). So, please forgive me. 

But anyway, this post was one of the most enjoyable to write. 

I love how the author dropped hints how all these events were interconnected tactfully. The readers might not even notice it if we weren't paying close attention to the details. And I love how the twists and turns took place throughout the book, instead of dropping the bomb at one go. This way, it allowed the readers more time to process what was happening and started speculating on our own. I love it when thrillers moved my brain to get into work and started making my own smart guess.  

In the beginning, I wasn't invested much in Lizzie and Sam's marriage, but by the ending, I was holding my breath to find out if she was going to leave him. I love how we got to see how the two first met and the difference it was in the beginning of their relationship to the current state of their marriage. Besides, Sam sounds like a very pretty man and we all know I have a soft spot for them.

Somebody else's problems become your own. It doesn't always feel fair.